What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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