I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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