i love accidental penises.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
