it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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