she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
