so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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