put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
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I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
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I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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