The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize