And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
