i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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