i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
