i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
