Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
