he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize