My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
