whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
