rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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