Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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