you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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