And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
