I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
