Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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