Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
third nipple confirmed
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
