we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
