): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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