I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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