Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
