in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
