I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
