Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
