Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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