i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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