you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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