It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
