I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm at about main and main street
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
