Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
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