Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
