I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Duck Duck Cougar?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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