just tell him i said nine months
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
