dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Did I show you my penis last night?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
