i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
