problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
