Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize