you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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