If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's shark week go big or go home
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
