it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
