Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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