I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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