closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
