so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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