I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
