Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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