Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
