Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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