I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
