Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
