just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
