she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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