my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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