I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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