I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
